The Cycle
by LadyBaSingSe
Summary: Kataang. The last time she spoke to him, she was yelling at him. Can she possibly make up for the many mistakes she made?
1. The Child

**A/N: So, this idea has been in my head before I even began AWOW. It's strange because now that I look back on it, this was the original idea for _The Oracle_. I am so glad I did what I did instead of this, though. I just could not bring it to my heart to write an entire, full-blown story _this_ depressing. Just couldn't do it.**

**Welp, since this story has been agitating me for months, I had to let it free. It was really getting on my nerves. I was telling my dad about this story incase he had a better way to display it**—**I dunno, a happier one? But, just to get under my skin, he said, 'What's this for? Avatar? That show is so last year. Don't you know that's over?' And so, because the child in me became angry, I stalked him for fifteen minutes reciting the entire Cave of Two Lovers episode until he gave in and took it back.**

**I am one happy waterbender.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any of the characters within it.**

--

The Cycle

The Child

It was the worst night of my life. My mind reeled backwards, and in a split second, I could almost feel again. If I succumbed to my emotions and fed up with trying to feel nothing, I would surely break.

There doesn't seem to be another way to put it other than stating I am completely and permanently broken. I've been emptied out like a shell the snail doesn't need anymore, washed up onto shore and stepped on by some angry, destructive adolescent.

Nothing is worth living for anymore. My childhood was filled with happy memories and snow, but my mother was taken away from me and all that was left behind was a frazzled girl with flakes of white abyss that fell down upon her wherever she went.

But that was then.

_This_ is now.

As much as I hated to admit it—as much as I disliked knowing I was dependant on the being of another person—he became my lifeline. It seemed everything I did, or said, or even thought, was all on a basis of what would benefit _him_; support _him_; supply _him_.

So why did it take me so damn long to realize I loved him more than anything or anyone in this unfair world?

Why was it only when he was taken away from me I knew I was madly in love with the one person who's adoration I constantly pushed aside?

That's right. I love him. But I was too stupid to admit it to myself, and most importantly—to him.

I felt a wave of hatred for that firebending prodigy. While he sits safely in a jail cell with only the loss of his firebending, the Avatar is gone from this world and will never feel the wind on his face or the earth beneath his feet ever again.

He'll never hear my voice repeat over and over again just how much I love him.

It's a funny thing, really. How the inner apocalypse can begin in several torn people due to a sole being. This world is experiencing love and peace, and all the happiness between the nations is shared equally—like those little post cards with people surrounding a heart-shaped world while they hold hands and smile harmoniously, like they all share a secret the viewer will never know. But, if I was that viewer, I would know this secret. The world may be in better hands than it was only months prior, but for me, the greatest sacrifice of history was not worth all the prosperity of mankind.

The thing is—he knew the risks, he just refused to abide by them.

And so, here I walk—alone, broken and more lonely than I have ever been in my life—on the road leading straight to Ba Sing Se. My journey has been long without Appa, and although I'm the only thing he has left, I was afraid if I spent too much time with him, it would lead to a breakdown as quickly as anything else.

I finished climbing the hill I climbed a time before, and once at the top, I could see the great earth kingdom city in the distance. I paused before looking around, taking a long glance at my surroundings when my eyes fell upon a large tent conjured from earth.

Hope was born here.

That seems significant, though, and I ponder the thought that not only did a child's life began in this very place, but also the essense of hope itself. It was concocted as soon as that little child was born and _he _regained his sense of love and life and happiness. The aura that defines—_defined_—him as a person.

_I love him._

My body quivered under the next reverie I whipped up. The last time I spoke to him, I was _yelling_ at him! Treating him like a crazy animal who didn't know right from wrong. And in the Fire Lord's house, to boot!

I am a terrible, terrible person.

My sorrow was unheard and unknown, though I'd much rather it that way. I stepped forward in front of the earth tent and shifted the pack on my shoulder. It was becoming increasingly uncomfortable as the tears stung my eyes and wavered with confusion about my eyelids.

In a single blink of time, I lost it.

I made the gravest mistake I could've possibly made.

I thought his name.

Salty, disgusting drops of water rolled down my cheeks and as I attempted to keep them away, they slid down faster. I noticed I was on my knees, but I couldn't remember how I got there. My hands, by a will other than my own, pushed firmly on the ground and grabbed the sand at the foot of the tent, feeling it between my toughened fingertips. I could hear my cries, though I tried to stifle them as best I could. There was no use.

My tears didn't give me even the shortest second to breathe, so I choked on my own sorry air and fell completely on my hands and knees. My lungs convulsed, but I still felt no physical pain. I heard myself gag and croak to catch my breath, but still—feeling nothing.

My ears picked up crying once again. It wasn't me though—it couldn't be. I regulated my breathing pattern and breathed in deeply, the soft, muffled crying still radiating in my mind.

Where was it coming from?

I bit my bottom lip and stood, now intrigued by this unknown source that seemed to mock me in my sorrow. It was light and as I listened closer, not only was it strangulated, but high and distressed. It sounded like—like—the cries of a baby.

If on instinct, I whirled around and let my feet lead me to the poor child. I slipped behind the tree Aang and I shared a parting hug quite some time ago, beyond several bushes, and into a small indent in the mountain. Part of the wall jutted out unnaturally, but from a lucky experience with the elements, I knew what it was. An earthbender was here.

I spotted the child instantly, settled upon the platform appearing out of the tall formation of rock. It was in a small, makeshift bed—a bundle of cloth and leaves. A tiny pool of water was settled right below the child's placement and to the left of that was a scorchmark on the ground. How strange.

The baby softened up on it's cries, almost instantly settled as it's bright blue eyes spotted me. A heavy wind picked up and forced my neatly crafted braid to flail timidly. I squinted my eyes in reflex and grabbed the child under it's arms, lifting it gently into my grasp. I held it tight to me, though the calm breathing emitting from it's mouth was unheard in the harsh winds.

I took several steps from the baby's original mount, and in each step, the air mild out bit by bit. Once I approached the earth tent for shelter, there was no point—all was calm.

I pulled the child from my chest and stared deeply into it's cerulean orbs as they sparkled gloriously. It had sporatic, dark chocolate locks as well, the exact same color as mine. In fact, this baby looked so much like my own, it frightened me. And for a single, lost moment, I looked down into the eyes of what could have been.

"Did someone leave you here?" I found myself asking the child. It cocked it's little head to the side. Obviously it couldn't respond to me—it was only a few weeks old, give or take. For some reason though, I felt connected to it, as if I really was it's mother. I knew that was impossible, for I've clearly never had a child, but somehow I felt wholly responsible for what happened to it now that it rested in my hands.

"Hello?" I asked no one in particular, hoping to get a reply from the child's caretaker. "Is anyone here?" my voice questioned, much louder this time. No response.

An odd feeling came over me and I knew there wasn't anyone here for this kid. It was all on it's own.

I cradled the baby compasionately with my right arm and pulled my pack off of me. I hadn't realized how heavy it was until it was off, so it dropped to the ground with a resonant _thud_. Reaching out with my free hand, I manuvered through the satchel's compartments and found the wrappings usually required for bandaging. I was going to find out this child's gender—that was kind of important.

The rolled up cloth was dropped beside me on the ground, giving me free reign to waterbend the water from the pouch at my hip. I swirled it out and created a small, flat surface of ice below me, knelt down, and placed some of the material on it to set the baby on. It was abnormally calm, but I made no remark, for somehow I could sense it trusted me.

"Okay..." I said under my breath, and began to remove it's diaper, which was made from the same material as it's makeshift bed. What I found was nothing out of the ordinary, so I bent a small sliver of ice back into water and cleaned the child, put on a new wrap, and picked her up to cradle her once more.

I always did want a little baby girl. And as far fetched as it may sound, a baby boy, too—but only if it was Aang's child. Then I could see tiny versions of Aang running around our home with that giant, goofy grin that I love far too much... If only this was a perfect world.

Slowly, since I was in no rush to get to Ba Sing Se, I put the rest of the cloth in my bag, bended the water back into my satchel and slung my pack over my left shoulder. I smiled at the little form of life in my arms, but it was a small, sorrowful smile. Why would someone abandon a poor, innocent child in the middle of no where? Not many people took this way to the earth kingdom capital since it was the trail from the Serpent's Pass and the back way to the great city. Were they expecting this newborn to fend for herself? She couldn't even crawl yet.

As I ran through possible senarios, I turned and glanced once more at Toph's earth tent. I, with child in my grasp, head at a steady speed to Ba Sing Se.


	2. The Cataract

**A/N: ****Well, I looked up the possibility of rain in the South Pole, and apparently it's not even close to a conceivable concept. Oh well. I made it happen anyway.**

**This chapter name is both symbolic and literal. More symbolic than anything, but hey, it works.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any of the characters within it. **

--

The Cycle

The Cataract

I closed my eyes. Auran was becoming an amazing waterbender. She was only six years old, but her skill practically matched mine. I haven't seen this kind of natural talent since... since...

"That's good enough for today," I said with a smirk on my lips. Auran smiled, too.

The water was churning into a brighter shade of blue, so I figured the sun must be getting high in the sky. This was the warmest day in the South Pole for a very long time. I almost thought about removing my parka—then I thought about Auran. I didn't want her sick.

Much of the ice had melted in the western parts, so, even though on short notice, I rounded up some of our old friends and brought them up to the Southern Air Temple.

I noticed the signs late last night. There was a full moon and my restlessness was becoming eerie, so I went to Auran's room and watched her sleep. When she turned over and faced the wall, I kissed her on the forehead and slipped outside. The air was thin and there was no wind at all. I looked at the dark clouds in the sky, and for a moment, I felt water come down on me. It was raining.

No rain had fallen upon our tribe in over two hundred years. Normally, this would've been a strange sensation for me, but I took it with a grain of salt and forced everyone to get up early—they could sleep during the ride.

"Katara! Auran!" I heard a familiar voice shout out from above us. I looked at my daughter as she spun gleefully in a circle, a strain of water whipping around her, under her command. It appeared as a serpent, mouth wide and eyes like makeshift spheres that never blinked. A small smile found me and I watched her softly.

"Katara!" came the chant again, "Auran! Lunch time!"

The child before me stopped and dropped her liquid ribbon into the bank of water we stood in. It made a brief splash before she turned to me.

"Mommy, you heard that?" she asked innocently.

I nodded.

"It looks like Maya's a little aggravated, no?"

Auran cocked her heard adorably to the side.

"Agavated?"

"Aggravated," I corrected as I took a step toward her and scooped her up to craddle her. She threw her arms around my neck and her legs around my torso.

"Like... annoyed?"

I smirked and pat her back softly.

"Exactly. I'm glad you remembered that. Aggravated, like I get with your uncle." She giggled. "Ready?"

The young waterbender smiled, causing her cheeks to enlarge just a bit.

"Ready!"

I let go of her slowly, making sure she had a steady hold on my body and dropped my arms to my sides. I shifted my fingers back and forth, freezing the cool water under my feet. Then, I curled the ones on my right hand until my fingernails touched the base of my palm and shot my arm downward, slowly rising it back up, gripping Auran tightly with my left arm. The ice lift I created allowed us to ascend high enough to reach the side of the cliff. From there, we walked on the platform Toph created much earlier, and proceeded to reach the very top, which didn't take much time at all.

The two of us slipped into camp, our hands connected, and when we got there, Auran bolted across the campus, landing right into Maya's arms.

"Hello, little one," the woman said in response, stroking the girl on the head and maintaining a delicate stature.

My eyes lit up at the scene and smoothly allayed.

Maya was dad's wife. The two met three years ago, and she began to spend a lot of time with the family. I didn't really catch on to the fact that they were in a sort of 'relationship' until dad told me he proposed.

I was in shock. This emotion overwhelmed me quicker than I could imagine and I shut myself out of my father's life.

Maya bargained with me and pleaded with me. I was just so frustrated that dad could abandon my needs. That he could throw away my beliefs and the love I shared with my mother, even in death. The love _he_ shared with my mother.

But in that begging, Maya told me something that completely turned me around. She said... she didn't want to replace my mother. She said she knew she never could. So, I spoke to her and I found out we had a lot more in common than I ever expected.

And even more so, she understood me. She told me that she had a long conversation with dad about Kya and she shared his laughter when he recalled fine memories. She also shared his sorrow in the end. Maya was a kind, passionate, and ever-caring person and I almost ruined dad's happiness by rejecting her. I didn't know how much my opinion mattered to him until the next day when he came to me and explained that he wouldn't marry Maya unless _I_ was alright with it. _Me_.

Of course I would allow it. This person wasn't a replacement, but only the light at the end of the tunnel.

And I found a connection with her.

I told her the one thing I never shared with anyone before.

It actually started with the beginning—when Sokka and I found and let Aang loose from his century-long imprisonment. She was intrigued, never hearing this first-hand, and sat—and listened—and smiled—and laughed.

But, before I knew it, I was reaching the end. The end of my gloriously tragic story.

I almost couldn't describe it, but I was so deep in the waters already, it was too late. I released it all.

And she gasped—and sighed—and tears welled up in her eyes.

I'd like to think, before _she_ knew it, she was crying right along with me.

It was so strange, at first, to know someone else had the knowledge of that day in their minds. It was like the plague was casted down upon her, but she didn't complain, she only withstood it and tried to stay strong—if not for herself, for me.

I owed Maya my everything.

The wife of my father cradled my daughter in her arms like she was her own. I could only find happiness in the sight, considering my disintegrated past. She cooed softly at the small child.

"I have some soup for you, Auran, dear. Let's get you warmed up."

The two of them slipped passed the churning campfire and into the Air Temple's doors. I followed along.

A few of our closest friends were inside, warm and cozy. The ones that travelled here this morning and a few whom just arrived. At first glance I spotted my brother, Suki, Teo, Haru and Dionn, a young Dai Li agent. The Dai Li were now a contained force; their methods were never about power. Always about persuasion. The art of prestige.

I suppose I understood.

Though, this room, full of wonder, not prestige, looked as if a master artist created it. I flourished in the moment, separating calm from chaotic in my mind, and wondered if I would ever be the artist of my own life. I wished to know if I could sculpt the perfect moments to capture them forever, and let the other distained memories crumble away—forgotten.

I always had a sense for my talents, though understanding them was much harder than undertaking the accredited.

"Katara!"

The moment I heard my name, I snapped out of my reverie and looked up a the small brown haired boy in a wheelchair.

"C'mere," called Teo softly, "I want to show you something." He beckoned me over to his settlement at a small round table. Atop it was a mound of books and beside him was the half empty bookcase they plunged from, covered in soot and layered in dust.

I approached him, and he watched my footing. Step by step by step. As I neared, he placed his forefinger on a sandy-yellow page, pulling it up for me to see.

At first I raised an eyebrow, unclear what the image presented.

And then it clicked into place.

I snatched the book from him and brought it closer to my eyes, unblinking and transfixed.

A small, glowing white being, surrounded by what seemed like a ring, floated above a large ocean creature with an island on its back.

Looking down at the words below, all that was legible stated:

_the ways...nomadic prophecy...central spiritual corruption_

And after that, all I could hear was a _thud _and the call of my brother's voice. He was harping on about reading the histories or something. I could barely make it out as I felt my brain rush with blood. I grew nauseous, and found consciousness only in the sweet noise of Auran's words.

"Momma? Are you kay?"

I placed my hand on the side of my head and flickered open my eyes, looking down at the little blue-eyed child. I nodded.

"Mommy's fine, sweetheart. I just saw something I didn't like."

She gazed up at me with the most darling bright smile and folded her hands in front of her.

"The big turtles scare me, too."

A wave of disbelief rushed over me. She couldn't possibly be talking about the lion turtles? Surely she never saw one or read about one. We casually skipped spiritual-related conversations during dinner small-talk.

"Turtles?" I asked.

She only nodded and smiled larger.

"Yeah..." Her expression dampened. "A monster showed me."

"A monster?"

This inquiry caught Teo's attention as well, for he stared aghast with his mouth parted slightly, cocking his head barely to the side. I noticed Sokka stop talking, but if he was watching us, I was unaware. My attention was stuck on my innocent, frightened, waterbending little girl as her head bobbed up and down rhythmically for a short period of time.

"Auran... What do you mean by a 'monster'?" I pursued, as she didn't give an explanation.

Her little balls of ocean looked from me to the floor and she furrowed her eyebrows.

"He told me..." she trailed off, thoughts scattered. I felt as if I was at a loss to keep up with her.

"Told you, what?"

The six-year-old looked back at me, again, nearly unblinking.

"Momma, who's my daddy?"

My entire body tensed up and I froze. My first instinct was to tell her the truth—I found her, abandoned and took her in as my own.

But my second impulse was to tell her my truth. And that killed me.

"Your mom is tired," Teo cut in, probably seeing the look on my worn and agonized face. We glanced at each other, but my eyes dropped to the ground. "Go eat some breakfast, Katara. I'll watch after her." I didn't move. "I'm sorry, I am... but please."

As tears formed in my eyes and caused them to gloss over, I obliged. The air-glider put an arm out for Auran and lifted her onto his lap. As I slid over to the table near the middle of the room, I let out a long, shaky sigh.

_Aang... I need you, now... More than ever._


	3. The Creature

**A/N: I really need to get hot with these chapters, huh? I have three oneshots in progress, along with the next chapter of The Oracle, but I just... I dunno. Have no excuses. I apologize deeply for this being so late, but I figure there's not really much I can say. Hah. Here's it is.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any of the characters within it.**

--

The Cycle

The Creature

Hours had passed in the temple on the mountain. Minutes ticked by like water, running together and swirling out, causing my head to fall dizzy. Teo was spending time with Auran, but I kept away from them, to myself. He was showing her the history of the air nomads—neatly laid out and piled high on shelves and tables, pristine and old, as I had always pictured the airbenders to be.

I suppose it was time for her to learn. Of what could've been. Of what should be.

I wouldn't intrude in the conversation though, as I feel like an outcast within what has became my family. My closest friends, my daughter, brother, and father's wife. I would never let them in on my thoughts or feelings, because this burden I have is nothing I could share with another, only dark remains of my old life. It wasn't my place to allow those dear to me to sacrifice their happy lives, only because mine was far from it.

Glancing across the room, I catch my brother's gaze—a brisk, stony, pitiful stare, laced with emotions I wish he never learned of. Suki was at his side, sitting in a old brown chair, her hand placed peacefully upon his shoulder and her body tilted softly toward his, a moth to the flame. Sokka granted me a sad smile, which I gracefully returned. Whatever was conveniently placed in my expression caused him to light up inevitably.

A hand through my hair caused my body to tense and I turned to look up at the obstruction. The fingers rummaged through my dark brown strands in a rhythmic pattern, raising the hair on the back of my neck.

Haru was smirking down at me with a solemn, but intense look.

Naturally, I eased my own two hands up to the base of my head and pulled my hair down to the side of my neck, cradling it there like a prized possession and glared up at the earthbender. He just continued smiling, unruffled by my uncomfortable position. He was so forward with me after the war, which I thought was quite rude, considering, but he never gave up.

"Katara," he said airily, eyes searching where my hands travelled across my dark chocolate locks. "You need to stop moping around. You're acting like more than a child than Auran. You're a grown woman. Get over it."

I did _not_ approve of his tone. And I let him know it.

"Look, _Haru_," I nearly spat, using air quotations over his name like he was a play on words himself, "If you don't understand this pain I'm feeling, fine. But don't prance around like you're all happy and dandy telling me how to act and be who I am. I've always appreciated your sympathy and kindness, and I didn't know you could be so blunt, but if you don't mind, I'm going to sit here and play my life out like _I_ want to. If that requires wasting it away, then that's alright with me." I paused, then added, "I lost my mother... and then, due to my own selfishness—my own idiocy—I lost my best friend." I felt a single tear across my cheek, but swiped it away quickly, making sure it couldn't trigger another. "I will never, _never_, meet another person who meant as much to me as he did. And I don't care if everyone in this world forgets what kind of person he is... But I won't. I won't let go of his memory for all the happiness in the world..."

At first, when I gazed at Haru, I thought I'd made him cry. But then, I realized he was simply shocked. I settled back into my chair. Looking across the room, I noticed everyone else was watching me, also.

There was silence.

Slowly, Teo placed Auran on the ground and rolled his wheelchair toward me. As he approached the table, he smiled warmly at me and used a hand to beckon me over. My eyes hopped from person to person in that room before I stood and followed him out the door, head dropped slightly in both embarrassment and fatigue.

We weaved through a few hallways and rooms, never ceasing to move in the vast Air Nomad building. There was art on the walls so old, I was amazed it hadn't yet crumbled to dust. A portrait caught my eye in a small dainty living quarters space, and as I walked, I watched it. It looked just like Gyatso, from what I could remember of the statue outside, but about a decade younger. It was the last thing I really looked at before we came to an ominous winding staircase that seemed to descend into darkness as it rose.

Teo sighed. "I can't take you any further, but Toph is up there. She's been there since you and Auran went down to the waters this morning," he whispered.

I nodded.

Teo always gave me this sense of belonging and understanding. Maybe it was because neither of us had mothers. Or maybe it was because he reminded me so much of Aang. Fun loving, spirited, kind, and air-borne... I could trust him.

He began rolling back down the lit-up hallway as I looked forward to where the light disappeared in the staircase. I delicately placed my right hand on my left forearm, taking calm, sturdy strides closer to Toph. I couldn't see where I was going as I ascended the stony steps, but closed my eyes and used my other senses instead. Although I almost ran into the wall, I steadied myself and leaned my back upon it, sliding from each step to the next with ease. As I hit the top of the stairs, I took a step upwards only to find there wasn't an upward slope there, and my heart sped up as my leg locked and caused my body to feel as if it was going to fall.

I resumed my standstill and took a deep breath, blinking heavily. The spirits only knew where Toph could be.

Pushing the negative and dreary thought from my mind, I found myself on lighter toes, etching my feet into the floor and recording the feel of the ground to memory. I had to think like Toph if I had any notion to find her, and that meant getting rid of my fifth—and personally, at the moment, favourite—sense, more accurately. I brought my palms to my eyes and felt to make sure they were closed, for I couldn't tell if they were or not otherwise.

I released the softest sigh and put my hands out, breathing evenly through my paces. I found an extrance to a room on the right, but it had no source of light either. Why didn't I just bring a spirit forsaken torch up here?

I kept on.

As I made it past the doorway, the most peculiar thing happened. I heard footsteps so quiet, I wasn't even sure they were there. But in the pitch black, a streak of white etched across my vision, and I took in a sharp breath.

"Toph?" I asked to the darkness.

No answer.

There was _no way_ I was keeping my eyes closed now. Forget about being 'one with the earth'.

"Toph, if that's you, this, Oh!—"

My sentence was cut off as I stepped in a hole in the floor. I grasped at the wall, but still fell to my knees. The white flew by again and I found my breathing pattern was so off beat, though I tried desperately to calm down. I began crawling, faster and faster, unsure if my mind was playing tricks on me or if I was being stalked through an empty hallway.

Finally, after what seemed like hours of crawling and panic, I made a sharp turn and saw what was ironically like a light at the end of the tunnel. Faint, sheer, strains of yellow-orange cascaded through the small part of this never ending hall and made it to my eyes. I stood and looked around, hoping more than anything I wasn't followed. I could see very well which room the flickering color was pouring from, and as I got closer I could hear the familiar voice of my friend.

"Ooom... this is ridiculous... Ooom... you better come back here... Ooom... I know you can hear me..."

I rose an eyebrow while I lingered in the entrance of the small room acquainted by an equally small window. The earthbender I'd been searching for was on the ground, legs crossed, in a meditation position. But, what she was doing, I couldn't really call meditating.

"Ooom... I swear I'll get you... Ooom... this is stupid... Ooom... Katara, why are you staring at me... Ooom... I'm not crazy... Ooom..."

I let out a short giggle.

"Toph, what are you doing?"

"Ooom... meditating... Ooom... but you knew that... Oooooom..."

Approaching her as she continued her chant, I sat beside Toph. Suddenly, she stopped, and opened her eyes.

She turned her head in my direction.

"What's up with your heartbeat?" she asked, leaning back on her palm and pointing at my chest. "It's all fuzzy-like. And weird."

I pushed her finger away from my bossom and she reclined on that hand as well.

"I just... Well, Teo sent me up here, and I couldn't see. I fell."

She shook her head. "You're lying, but I'll let it slip. There's no way I'm telling you why I'm up here, so I guess you don't need to tell me why you are either. Hah."

"I saw something. I think."

Her face drooped.

"And, now you're not lying. But, don't think for a second that means I'll tell you anything!" She intentionally flicked her head so her bangs would fly in front of her glazed eyes and blew a breath upward to send them flying away, again. It was a natural inclination when Toph was upset. Or bothered by someone, at least.

I rolled my eyes at her and glanced around the room with bitter eyes. It saddened me inside, knowing she was here, doing this. Meditating was what he was supposed to be doing after our fight and before he went off and got himself in an unforgivable situation. He even left a single lit candle, which I've kept since that day.

_"Your father is right! He would know better than anyone what you're going through. Just talk to him. Please."_

_"No."_

_"I don't understand, Katara! You can't do this to yourself. You mean too much to me," Maya stated, wiping her damp cheeks with her finger. "Throw the damn thing away. It's making it hard on you! It's not going to bring him back, and I know that's all you want. But, he made mistakes like the human being he is. He's wasn't just the Avatar, he—"_

_"How can you say that!? How can you accuse me of only caring about his status as the Avatar!?" I held the candle in my hand with a firm grip, allowing my knuckles to turn white. "You never even knew him. And when I met him, he wasn't the Avatar at all. I accepted him into my home and my life as just a remote and highly confused stranger."_

_"Katara—"_

_"I'm done with this conversation! I know you were just trying to help, but like usual, this is getting out of hand. I don't want to hurt anyone. I just want to remember him. That's all."_

I inhaled deeply, remembering that particular experience. Letting go of the breath, I regained my strength and watched Toph. She had her eyes shut and her hands on the ground beside her.

"I never really did think about that, though. So, I just ignore the subject all together now," Toph was saying as she reopened her eyes.

Did I miss something?

"Sorry, what?"

The blind earthbender laughed and shook her head. "Nevermind, Sugar Queen. There is _no way_ I'm saying that again."

There was a pause before Toph let out an obnoxious, over dramatic sigh. "I know that look on your face." She leaned forward and set her hands in her lap. "As much as I hate to admit it, it hurts me to see you so sad. I count on you for the seriousness, the hopefulness, the Kataraness. But now you're just blah. And you aren't spreading the happy. I need the happy so I can pretend not to be happy... Which is hard work when everyone else has so much gloom!"

All I could muster to say was, "Toph... You're blind."

Her faced drooped even more.

"See! That's exactly what I mean. You wouldn't have caught that in my phrasing if you were happy Katara! And just because I can't see you, doesn't mean I don't know there's a look on your face. Or that you're heavily depressed."

With only half of my effort, I glared at her. "I don't even know why I came up here."

There was a thunking noise and I whipped my head around as a reaction, forgetting Toph's debate all together.

"Do you hear that?" I whispered, facing the entrance.

She scoffed.

"How could I not?"

We both fell silent and I regulated my breathing, trying to be as quiet as I physically could. The strange noise was muted and although I could feel it on the ground, it was hard to say where it was coming from.

"Toph?"

"Shh!" she shot back, kneeling on the ground with one leg and maneuvering her fingertips across the stony floor. She began the details in a whisper, "There's something in the hallway. I can't tell what it is, but it's fairly big. Really light, too. Some sort of animal or something."

As I heard a low growl from the distance, my hands began to shake ever so lightly. I daringly took three or four steps toward the doorway and as I approached, I saw the figure empty itself from the darkness and appear around the corner in the same direction I came earlier.

"What is it?" Toph offered, curious.

I smiled as the large panda came near and I recalled back to an event from several years ago, shining like a star in my memory.

"A friend."


	4. The Countenance

**A/N: And here be the fourth installment of The Cycle. Which is surprising, because this story was supposed to be three chapters. Now that I've made it a full blown story, it just proves I love my reviewers. :] Which I do. Please review. I would really appreciate it. It means so much to me that you guys take the time to tell me what you think, especially my regulars. But everyone counts and every review is what fuels my want to write!!**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any of the characters within it.**

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The Countenance

"Hei Bai!" I exclaimed, patting the beast on the snout. He eyed me timidly, and nevertheless, I discerned the seriousness in his demeanor. The colossal panda stared into me, and I felt a forced connection enter what I suspected to be my soul. It was the strangest sensation I ever felt in my entire life.

Following purely an undoubted sense of curiosity, my hand discovered a mind of it's own and I tilted my head in fascination, palm pressing against the smooth fur of the spirit's forehead. I was instantly engulfed in a tingling feeling which lifted me off the world and into another, my eyes seeing what my body could not come in contact with. A pale blue light surrounded me for only a moment, and I sensed as if the place I entered was one I was in previously before. The familiarity of the scene was enough to frighten me.

Auran was only three years old, sitting on the ground with a toy resembling a small turtle in her grasp. She shook it, then placed it on the ground with severe delicacy. Beside her, the young girl grabbed for another toy, this one yellow and brown with a swirling symbol in the center of what appeared to be a flattened rattle.

I watched myself walk into the room through an entrance to the right, reading a piece of paper before setting it down on a nearby table. As the younger me glanced up, she smiled affectionately at Auran and brought her eyes back to the folded paper. With only a small delay, she took a double-take at the girl and drew a sharp breath after spotting the trinkets.

"Auran, sweety? Where'd you get those?" I saw myself ask, remembering the moment clearly, but confused as to why Hei Bai was showing me something I could recall without being reminded.

"I-ano," she replied, shrugging.

As if sensing my thoughts, the displayed setting morphed again, this time into something I hadn't seen before. It couldn't have been long ago, for Auran looked the exact same as she did when I left the real world.

The child walked down a hallway in our home in the Water Tribe. She was giggling softly and quietly, nibbling the side of her index finger where the joints connected and bent. Auran took a sharp halt and put her fingers on the ice wall, quickly removing them. She turned around, and as she did, the furry panda was facing her. He opened his mouth in an 'o' formation, a beam of illumination emitting from his beast-like lips. As it dissipated around the waterbender, she shook her head.

"I don't know," she spoke, grinning. She crossed her arms. "Are you gonna eat me?"

The creature did not move.

"That's good. I don't wanna be eated." Facing a small pause, Auran looked at the ceiling, then back to the monster. He seemed to be speaking to her telepathically, but I wasn't sure. It was evident he did something to communicate, though.

"You should ask my mommy! She knows a eartbender ana firebender. She's water, too. So, that's..." she counted off on her fingers, "three outta four!"

Before the vision could finish, I felt my spirit slam back into my body, causing myself to become lightheaded. For unknown reasons, I coughed, then sputtered, finding it insanely hard to catch my breath.

"Katara? Are you alright?" came Toph's voice from behind me. I felt her hand grab me by the shoulder, calmness soon overwhelming me. It was as if the entirety of my energy was drained, just by meddling in spiritual matters. "What did you do to her?" my friend spat at the creature, narrowing her pale jade eyes.

"Toph. It's okay. He was showing me something." I glanced with perplexity at Hei Bai, questions scattered around by consequence of the bizarre trance. "Why?" I asked simply, hoping to be spoken to like Auran was. "Why?" I repeated in a whisper, shaking my head back and forth.

It wasn't normal for a spirit to appear out of the blue to a full mortal woman, even if she did know the Avatar. It wasn't normal for a spirit to venture this far out of his realm to show some useless images to a broken woman losing her grip on reality! I inhaled a deep breath.

Leaning forward, the panda once more entranced me with his subconscience. I took a step toward him and my hand touched the base of his skull.

Instantaneously, pictures and clips of memories rummaged through my brain—Aang falling from the iceberg, Aang entering the avatar state for the first time, Aang waking up on the lion turtle, Aang smiling his adorable, contagious smile, Sokka crying at the foot of a tall oak tree, Toph inscribing Aang's name on a slate of rock, Auran being placed in the spot I found her by a hooded man... The images merged together and ended in a swirl of mist, returning me to the mortal world again.

And my body trembled and my knees grew weak.

Auran was born the night of Aang's departure.

I felt a single tear drop to the ground at my feet, the splashing sound resonating in my head with a secret understanding. The recognition of everything I knew in the world around me pooled in that tiny drop of water—a speck on our minute, unimportant planet. For just over six years, I trained my beautiful art to the one person I couldn't stand. The one thing I hated, yet yearned for every moment I lived. I was existing in some sort of reoccuring nightmare. The type you beg to go away, but it comes back again and again and again, all the more tearing you apart from the inside-out. It burned like flame to the flesh, but froze me in time—a sickening image that would never, _ever_ leave.

"Katara!" Toph yelped, and I knew that wasn't the first time she called my name. I couldn't help my shock. Though with my luck, and my life, how could I not expect it? How did I _not_ see it?

I put my arm out and supported my weight on the blind woman, knowing that in a moment, it was possible I would faint. The blood wasn't circulating correctly in my brain. My legs were numb and they shook miserably, matching my shaking chest, which caved inward.

"Auran," I said, nearly choking on the word.

"Is she okay?"

I turned my head to face Toph, eyes flooded with sickening liquid, oozing as they begged for mercy. Begged for some reprieve.

"She's the Avatar."


End file.
